Taylor Swift’s new album reveals the truth about Joe Alwyn

Someone pass Joe Alywn a drink!

He has successfully survived Taylor Swift’s new album The Tortured Poets Department release with minimal damage. 

It has long been speculated that Swift’s latest album would be about the end of their six-year relationship, which ended in April 2023. 

So many theories were floating around – plenty of people even held unsubstantiated fears that Alwyn may have cheated on the singer – and fans thought that all would be revealed when her album dropped on April 19th.

Swift is known for her incredibly personal lyrics. She wrote the 7-minute song Dear John after being rumoured to have dated John Mayer when she was 19 and he was 32, which included the lyrics, “Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in the dress cried the whole way home.” 

Swift has always made it clear that she isn’t afraid to get personal in her music, so fans were sure that Alwyn would get the kind of serve that would leave a burn … but they were wrong. 

Sure, she has a few things to say about the relationship.

“And I’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free” seems a pretty direct hit at the relationship that she was in for the bulk of her late 20s. But, if the lyrics are to be read into, it was Swift’s decision to end their love affair. 

“And you say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it,” she practically howls in the track titled unsubtly So Long London.

Of course, Alwyn is from the UK, and the former couple lived in London for most of their relationship. 

The fact he wasn’t an American boy was something Swift documented in her music, most obviously with the song London Boy off her 2019 album Lover.

When they were together, she was coming up with lyrics like, “You know I love a London Boy.” So it’s not a stretch to assume the track So Long London references that relationship ending.

Fans were surprised by the lack of reference to Alwyn in the 17-track album, and plenty of people now think it was cruel of Swift to let people speculate for so long, although, in general, she doesn’t comment much on her relationships and has never said anything bad about the actor.

Instead, the singer has found 1975’s Matty Healy a much more complex muse, and her album references their brief relationship that lasted for a few weeks or maybe a few months after they were spotted together in May 2023.

Alwyn should count himself lucky because for a second, things didn’t look good for the actor. Swift ended their relationship and seems to have lived three lives since. She dated Healy for a hot minute and then thrilled the whole world when she started dating NFL player Travis Kelce.

Alwyn has stayed pretty much out of the spotlight since, which is his style. He is a working actor who has been in big-name things like the critically acclaimed The Favourite and the 2022 limited television series All My Conversations with Friends, based on best-selling novelist Sally Rooney’s book.

The television show was highly anticipated but never cemented itself into the culture besides a fleeting moment.

Arguably, the most famous thing about him is his long-lasting relationship with Swift. He is the kind of actor who always seems to be on the verge of becoming the next big thing, but he has never quite pulled that off. 

Alwyn also doesn’t seem to court fame. Outside of his work, he isn’t seen out at too many hot spots or photographed with other famous people, and he tends to keep a low profile. Meanwhile, Swift’s personal life has practically become a spectators’ sport.

Which means that considering Swift is by far the biggest name and Alwyn is mostly known as her ex-boyfriend, it seemed almost a given that this album would be about him, shed light on their relationship, and likely paint him in an unflattering light.

This would have been bad news for the actor because Swift has remained the most exciting thing about him.

Sure, she’s always managed to outshine any scrutiny of her dating life by having such a successful career but it seems doubtful he’d pull off the same feat. So, the fact that she doesn’t slam him is excellent news for him and even his career.

Really, Swift’s album has served as good PR for Alwyn; sure, their relationship didn’t work out, but he didn’t really give her much to sing about.

It is a good day to be Joe Alwyn.